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He lost interest: why and what to do to make the best of it

by Ian Prior - May 18, 2021

It’s been several days, a week even, since he’s called or texted. He no longer likes your social media posts and the last time you went on a date, he wasn’t exactly Mr Talkative. You tell yourself that everyone’s entitled to an off day, an off week even, but that little voice in your head wonders … has he lost interest in me? There are several reasons why men lose interest in a woman and most of them aren’t even about you. That said, it’s normal to worry and to wonder if you can get him back. Some advice for those of you wondering how to win him back:

4 Reasons, why he has lost interest

1. His life has taken an unexpected turn

Is he losing interest, or his he just stressed? Sometimes, life gets busy unexpectedly. Things could ramp up at work, or someone close to him may be ill or even have died, or he could be dealing with family drama, which means he has no time or energy for a romantic relationship.

2. He’s found another woman

It’s a hard, sad truth: sometimes, he acts distant because he has found someone else and he is just too chicken to tell you (or is hoping you’ll think he lost interest and break up with him first.) Whatever anyone may tell you, it’s nothing you said or did; he made the choice to cheat, not you.

3. It’s him, not you

Another reason why he may have lost interest? You had the bad luck to date someone with a fear of commitment, or perhaps even a narcissist or other type of emotionally unavailable man. Again, it’s not your fault; finding your prince means you will wind up kissing a few frogs, unfortunately. In cases like this, the best thing to do is thank your stars he showed his true colors before you got any deeper into the relationship.

4. He just wanted something casual.

A major reason why guys lose interest: He wanted something casual and that’s not what this relationship turned out to be. It’s not either of your faults, but a bad miscommunication. Which is why it’s important to make expectations clear right from the start, so neither of you winds up disappointed.

But, what to do when he lost interest?

It’s a question that’s been asked since time immemorial: Once a guy loses interest, can you get it back? The answer is yes… and no. While there are some things you can do to attract a man back once he’s lost interest, it’s often better to let it go and find someone new. If you do still want to win a man’s heart, though. Here are the best tips:

Give him his space

You’ve heard the saying ‘if you love something, let it go. If it was meant to be, it will come back to you.’ That couldn’t be more true, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. When men lose interest in a woman, clingy behavior isn’t likely to bring them running back; the exact opposite, in fact. Give him time to figure things out, whether that’s a work issue or something else, and your relationship will be stronger for it in the end.

Focus on you

A great way to attract a man who’s lost interest? Show him you need him as much as a fish needs a bicycle. Take the time you previously spent on him and spend it on yourself instead – sign up for a class, get a great new haircut, do something with your girlfriends. He’ll soon be aware of just what he’s missing and raring to get back to how it was.

Surprise him

Sometimes, the reason he’s lost interest is just that, well, the relationship has become a little boring. It’s normal and happens to more couples than you think – between work, friends, and family, it’s easy for relationships to fall by the wayside. A good way to shake things up – and get him interested again – is to surprise him with something radically different on date night. Or send him a compliment when he’s least expecting it, about something he doesn’t often get complimented on, and watch the novelty re-ignite your relationship.


We all live in fear of those four words – ‘we need to talk’ – but the truth is, the best relationships are built around healthy communication. Sometimes it’s important to take a deep breath, squash down our fears, and simply ask what’s going on, and if there’s a problem. Your guy might just be waiting for the chance to tell you, or desperately in need of a listening ear. And even if what he has to say isn’t what you want to hear, it’s always better to have cleared the air.

Man and woman in cafe, man caresses her face and she smiles as an example of the question does he like me

Wondering whether he likes you?

Here are some signs he is interested, so you can easily answer the question “does he like me?”.

Once a guy loses interest, can you get it back? Listen to your instinct

It really does depend on the guy and the situation if it makes sense to get him back. However, as the late great Kenny Rogers said, “You gotta know when to walk away.” Sometimes the best thing to do when he has lost interest is find a new man. And luckily, eharmony makes finding someone who shares your values and vision easier than ever, so forget about your soon-to-be-ex and sign up today!

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