Man and woman sitting with distance as symbol for space in relationship

Space in a relationship: how to get closer to your partner

by Ian Prior - May 31, 2021

You and your partner love each other, no doubt. But lately you’ve had moments of struggle in your relationship. Do you often fight over the tiniest things? Do you feel your partner offers little input into decisions you’re supposed to make as a couple? Do you get the feeling your lives are running in a parallel?

These are signs that scream for your attention. Giving each other space in a relationship without losing the connection is very important. Having some time to yourself is not wrong, you just have to see it in a positive light.

Needing space in a relationship – what does it mean and what are signs?

No one wants to hear their partner say they want time away from you. But a happy and healthy relationship is about the right balance – enough time for hobbies, connecting with friends, or to focus on your career. Time apart is essential to put an individual in a better mindset to take care of the relationship.

What triggers this feeling?

Possessiveness and clinginess. If you have been overly dependent, constantly calling or texting, being suspicious, or if you both have been doing every activity together, then it can trigger irritation and cranky behaviour. Needing space in a relationship is normal and here are three signs to look out for:

1. You have arguments for no reason

In a relationship, anger can be the result of needing something a bit more. Spending too much time together can lead to toxic relationship models – when time by yourself isn’t honoured or when your partner cannot focus on their work or interests.

2. Your partner is annoyed by your presencE

Too much interference can also create friction. You care too much and end up becoming a nag. Your mere presence can trigger a conflict, or they might just start ignoring you.

3. Your connection is off track

There could be other reasons such as work stress, but if your partner is constantly pushing back, you need some space in your relationship to figure out the issues.

How to give your partner the required space?

If your partner says they need space in your relationship it implies two things: there are relationship problems or they need time to sort things in their life. The good news is that they have mentioned it and it’s an easy problem to fix—talk to them and give them some time without allowing yourselves to drift apart. It does not mean you need a relationship break. The trick is to learn the balance.

5 strategies to effectively make  space in your relationship

  • Don’t take it personally – If your partner has told you = they need space, it’s a good thing. Thank them for being honest.
    Tip: Remember, every individual is different and it has more to do with how they get energised.
  • Limit texting and calling – Constant talking does not make a relationship stronger.Instead, send a few texts or call to say goodnight. Little interactions will let them know you care.
    Tip: A little absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  • Hang out with friends or family – Nurturing other relationships is important. When you spend time with separate groups, it gives enough space to enjoy your different interests.
    Tip: Friendships help you grow.
  • Set new goals for yourself – Let go of your fears of being alone and instead set new goals. Do something out of your comfort zone. Tip: When you have a goal, you lead a better life.
  • Encourage your partner to discover new interests or to restart an old hobby. When you support them in their career or interests, your bond gets stronger.
    Tip: A healthy relationship is having a supportive partner (or being one) who has your back.

The pros and cons of introducing space in a relationship

There are times when you should not compromise and beware unreasonable demands. While space in a relationship and a different perspective can make your bond stronger, too much space can result in a couple drifting apart.

The pros – gateway to a meaningful connection

  • You can focus on your life – it’s an opportunity to focus on the things you neglected becaue you were busy being in love. It also gives you much-needed me-time.
  • It helps you progress – you can use the time to step up your game. Hit the gym, develop your skills and pursue your dreams.
  • It helps you understand the importance of your time together –time apart will teach you to value your relationship and you will enjoy your time together more.

The cons – too much space is a slippery slope

Too much space can lead to a point where your partner feels you don’t care enough. You don’t trust or depend on each other for anything. When you give too much space in a relationship, it is often difficult to bring the connection back on track.

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For a healthy relationship, give the right amount of space

The secret for a lasting relationship is using the time away from your love to focus on what makes you happy. Having time apart brings about freshness in a relationship. It encourages each partner to maintain their identity. It fosters independence and strength rather than clinginess. If you are looking out for someone who respects your space and has similar core values, then try eharmony. You deserve a happy and successful relationship.

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