relationship break

Does taking a break in relationship work or is it the end of love?

by Ian Prior - May 31, 2021

What does taking a break in relationship mean? It’s about having a temporary separation from a relationship that's become all about arguing, complicated issues, and more resentment than love. Do some soul-searching to explore how you really feel about the relationship. If you feel unhappy or alone or if you feel like the spark is gone but you don’t want to give up, then a break in the relationship can help. It can fix some of the major problems and guide you to the right decision.

Most common reasons to take a break in a relationship

Is taking a break in a relationship a healthy way to deal with issues? It depends whether both partners are clear on how long the break is going to be and if you set rules and maintain boundaries. When the issues in your relationships are a deal-breaker, taking a break may not make much sense.

Here are some of the most common reasons why couples take a break:

  • They argue often and are unhappy
  • One of the partners is having cold feet about commitment
  • Relationship conflicts and feelings of dissatisfaction
  • If one of the partners has cheated, emotionally or physically

A break is all about giving each other some space and time to reflect, re-evaluate, and work on themselves. Both partners need to agree, and the rules have to be clear.

Taking a break in the relationship allows you to see things from a neutral perspective and gives you enough time to decide whether you want to rebuild the relationship or end it.

The do’s and don’ts when taking a relationship break

First, you need to understand it is not a break-up. You are going to stay away from each other to think things over and decide whether the relationship is worth saving. Here are some rules to follow.

  • Set a realistic timeframe
    Going on an indefinite break is not wise and will only create anxiety. Set a timeframe – a week, a month, even six months. Give your partner the space they need and respect that time frame. Taking too long or too many relationship breaks can lead to a break-up.
  • Do not stay in touch
    A break in a relationship implies a break in communication. It is natural to feel lonely and experience the void for a while. But you should be strong and avoid calls or texts. Checking-in on your partner will not help in any way.
  • Maintain boundaries
    Be crystal clear on what is acceptable. Once you have set boundaries (this may look different to each couple), you should try to stay true to them. If you start to date other people and this is not something you’ve agreed upon, things will get messy fast.
  • Give yourself time
    Make your time apart count – pick up on your hobbies, visit friends and work on improving yourself. Reassess your relationship and when you have clarity, you can make the right decision.
  • Remove the co-dependencies
    If you have been sharing a car or a pet, you may not be able to truly take a break. If you are financially dependent on your partner, you need clarity before deciding to take a break in the relationship. To the greatest extent possible, avoid being dependent.
  • Stay positive
    While taking a break in a relationship it’s important to stay optimistic. For many couples, it’s a blessing in disguise that helps them emerge stronger and see their relationship in a new light.

What happens after a break in a relationship?

When your relationship hits a roadblock you’re forced to weigh the pros and cons, which often leads you to mutually deciding to take a break. While some breaks can lead to break-ups others can recover from their past situations and go on to have fulfilling relationships.

A healthy relationship break

If both partners can establish a goal from having a break, come to an agreement on clear guidelines, take responsibility for their mistakes and commit to self-reflection, then it is easier to fix issues.

When you are on a break, remember why you are doing this. It’s the right time to let go of the past. Forgiveness is important and so is not bringing up new problems. Several studies confirm that couples who go on a healthy break have longer-lasting relationships since they learn to value each other more.

Ending a relationship after a break

Alternatively, a break can make you realise you have nothing more to give the relationship. Perhaps you’ve had several break-ups but kept getting back together, but if your values aren’t aligned, you’re having ugly fights, or if you’ve undergone physical or emotional abuse, then it is best to break up for good.

If you have lived in a toxic relationship then a break might just make you feel good about yourself. Sometimes you feel you stayed out of obligation and now when you look back, you do not want anything from your past. This is a huge sign you should end your relationship and be happy.

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Taking a break in a relationship – a chance to move forward towards fulfilling love

Relationship challenges are inevitable but breaking-up is not always an ideal solution. Instead of being tormented by stress, fear, or anger each time you see each other, it’s better to take a break. A break in a relationship can lead to the kind of clarity and understanding a troubled relationship needs. Taking a break of course has benefits and downsides – it may give your relationship a second chance or it may just postpone a looming break-up. If you are looking for love that lasts then try eharmony, where happy endings are a speciality.

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