How to get your distance settings right
Is your location standing in the way of finding love? The great thing about online dating is that you can look further afield for your perfect match. Check out our guide to getting your distance settings just right
You’ve probably heard us say it before – eHarmony is a relationship site, not a dating site. You’ve come here looking for something more serious than just a few casual dates on a Friday night. That’s why we ask you to fill out our Relationship Questionnaire, because we want to match you based on deeper levels of compatibility – not on whether you both like jazz and red wine.
If you check out our success couples, you’ll find many of them talk about how amazed they were by how well they gelled as soon as they spoke – and how that often surpassed other considerations such as age, religion, race and distance.
But at the same time, we know certain considerations that aren’t part of the compatibility matching system are important to you. That’s why you can change your Match Settings too, anytime you like.
What are Match Settings?
Match Settings allow us to filter your pool of compatible matches based on your personal preferences such as location, age, religion etc. You can edit your Match Settings by clicking on the ‘My Settings’ tab when you’re logged in to eHarmony. When you choose your preferences we also ask you to mark how important each preference is to you on a scale of 1 to 7. If you have marked a Match Setting as ‘very important’ we will always deliver you matches that fit this criteria. However, if you’ve marked it as unimportant then we may bring you ‘Flexible Matches’ based on this choice.
For example, if you say that you want to search for matches within a 60 mile radius of your home, but also indicate that this setting isn’t very important to you, then we may send you matches that live more than 60 miles away. This is a Flexible Match.
What distance options are there?
You can ask us to search for matches within a 30 mile, 60 mile, 120 mile, and 300 mile radius of your postcode. Additionally, you can choose to search for matches in specific counties, the whole of the UK, specific countries and even the whole world.
How do I get matches closer to home?
If you would like more matches closer to home, then it’s time to review your match settings. First, decide the maximum distance you’d be willing to travel to visit someone. Think about how you’d travel there; if there are good transport links, or you can drive, it might be worth expanding those distance settings a little.
Next, review your other settings. If you don’t think you’re getting enough matches within your distance settings, it might be that some of your other match settings are stopping local matches getting to you. Remember that we will not relax your match settings for anything marked as ‘Very important’. So, if you’ve put your age range for matches as 35-45, and you’ve stated this is ‘Very important’ any local, highly compatible matches aged 46 won’t be sent to you.
We’re not saying you should compromise your beliefs and personal choices in order to get more matches, but if there really are some settings that you consider as a nice to have, put that they are ‘somewhat’ or ‘not’ important.
How do I get more compatible matches?
At eHarmony we truly believe – and have shown with our many happy success couples – that compatible matching leads to healthier, happier relationships. Your soul mate may be just down the road, or on the other side of the world – the great thing about eHarmony is that we can help you find them, wherever they are.
If you goal is to find the most compatible matches, then we’d advise you to expand your distance settings as far as you can. For some people that will mean selecting ‘Anywhere in the world!’, and for others that might mean a 100 mile radius. If you’re struggling with deciding which distance setting to choose, consider these points:
• Think about how much effort you’d be willing to put into a long distance relationship. Right now, you might feel that your life is too busy, or your finances won’t stretch to a long distance relationship. But, ask yourself, if this person really could be ‘The One’ then would that change your perspective?
• A long distance relationship doesn’t require both sides to travel equally. Yes, it’s nice if you can both show willing, but if one of you has more commitments where they live the other partner may be willing to go the distance
• Consider the geography of where you live. For example, if you live near the coast, searching a specific radius means you’ll at least partly be searching open water. Try searching by county or (especially if you live in Ireland) country instead
• Take heart from some of our success stories. Many were matched over a long distance, even if that wasn’t their initial preference. Dave and Judi are a great example of a couple that made the distance work, and they wouldn’t have it any other way
If you have any more questions about match settings, browse our FAQs where you’ll find the answer to most common eHarmony queries. Alternatively, you can call our Customer Care team on 0800 028 0308 (for free, 8am-8pm, Mon-Fri).
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