The Relationship Questionnaire: why do we ask all those questions?


The Relationship Questionnaire

Unlike other dating sites, eharmony uses a Relationship Questionnaire to help us find out all about you and what you’re looking for in a partner. But how does it all work? Let us explain…

Most dating sites ask you for just a few details before giving you access to hundreds of profiles and profiles. No strings attached, no commitment needed. At eharmony, we do things differently. We ask you to complete a comprehensive Relationship Questionnaire – and we ask you to dig deep! Your answers help us to build your in-depth personality profile and find out which of our members you’ll be compatible with.

It all starts with you…

The Relationship Questionnaire is lengthy but it’s long for a reason. We want to get to know you inside out. It’s only when you tell us who you are and who you’re looking for that we can really start our search.

It’s all a case of getting out what you put in. Take time to answer the questions in a natural but considered manner – you might be surprised by how much you learn about yourself! Don’t rush it. Try to set aside an evening when you know you’re not going to be interrupted. It can take up to an hour to complete the Relationship Questionnaire, but it’s time well spent.

Digging deep

The Relationship Questionnaire not only helps you find out more about yourself, it’s essential to the eharmony process. Your responses to the questions allow us to build a comprehensive personality profile that we then use as part of the process of finding your compatible matches. That’s why it’s never a good idea to fill out the questionnaire when you’re feeling very emotional or you’ve had a few too many glasses of wine. It needs to be an honest representation of you.

Meet compatible matches

Why compatibility matters

What is compatibility? It doesn’t just mean sharing the same interests. In fact, the Chambers English Dictionary defines compatibility as being ‘able to associate or coexist agreeably’. It’s great if you and your date both like listening to Lady Gaga, for example, but it doesn’t mean you’re compatible.

At eharmony, we take compatibility seriously. We believe that compatibility helps to create happy, meaningful relationships. So, once you’ve completed the questionnaire, how do we use that information to find you compatible matches? The answer lies in the Relationship Questionnaire too. We ‘map’ your answers about your personality, emotions, values, and interests against 18 key dimensions of compatibility, which tell us who you’ll be most compatible with. These key dimensions include things like how extroverted you are, how active you are, and how ambitious you are.

Why do these things matter? Well, if you have different energy levels to your partner, your lifestyles are unlikely to gel. One partner who likes to be in bed by 10pm every night is going to be frustrated by a partner who likes to be out ‘til 2am. They might find each other’s differences exciting at first but, in time, these differences will cause problems that could lead to the breakdown of the relationship.

Expert research

We can say this with confidence too. eharmony was founded by clinical psychologist Dr Neil Clark Warren who, after years of counselling couples in crisis, wanted to get to the root of the issue and help bring the right people together in the first place. It was this idea, and his research with fellow psychologist Dr Galen Buckwalter that lead to the formation of eharmony in 2000.

18 years later and we continue to conduct research into what makes some couples work and what makes others break-up. We also carry out country-specific research so that we can tailor our matching system to each market we serve.

Meet compatible matches

In brief…

  1. You tell us about yourself by completing the Relationship Questionnaire, which includes questions about personality, emotions, values, and interests
  2. Your basic settings (distance, religion etc.) are applied to create your potential pool of matches
  3. We take your answers to the personality questions to build your personality profile
  4. Your responses to the full Relationship Questionnaire are mapped against the key dimensions of compatibility
  5. Using eharmony’s Compatibility Matching System® we find the people within your pool of matches that you’ll be the most compatible with
  6. The most compatible matches appear on your My Matches page
  7. And it’s over to you…

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!

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