If you’re someone who seeks out mostly older singles, you’re likely aware of the preconceptions and outdated notions that are often tied to couples with age gaps. This is particularly true for older women dating younger men. As women are often perceived as inherently more mature than men, women dating older men has been normalised. But baseless generalisations like these can be toxic for a regular single person who is just trying to follow their heart. We look at just what makes mature women dating prospects so appealing to some men and how you can encounter attractive older women in your life and build on those interactions.
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5 great things about dating an older woman
Dating an older woman comes with so many benefits beyond just their company, that it’s hard to highlight only a few. But here are just some of the top ones.
1. They’re more confident and independent
Older women tend to be more established and financially independent. The demands of their career and even family mean they lead busier, more structured lives. For mature women, dating and love is often just the fulfilment of an aspect of their lives rather than being at the centre of it. This is great if you’re looking for an independent companion who doesn’t expect all of your spare time.
2. You aren’t a project to them
When younger people date, they tend to want to mould each other. And although compromise between couples is healthy, certain changes can feel like a rejection of your core self or represent ideals you feel you can never meet.
When dating an older woman, they tend to be less idealistic and more comfortable with exploring whether the person you currently are is right for them than some hypothetical version of you.
3. They’re less into games
Young relationships can often be marked with volatility and friction. The level of emotional intensity and lack of maturity often makes younger people indulge more in their jealous suspicions or play mind-games. Mature women dating have already been through their share of drama and relationship games so they don’t find much value in it and instead favour being more direct about their thoughts and emotions.
4. You’re more in the moment
After a certain age, we tend to always plan ahead in relationships. Is this the person you want to date long term, move in with, get married and perhaps one day have children with? This progression seems kind of part and parcel of dating. For older women though, they’re more looking for someone who makes them happy now than looking for a future husband. This gives your relationship room to grow organically.
5. They have more relationship experience
One of the best aspects of dating mature women is you get to benefit from their experience. They have a better idea of what makes or breaks couples. They know the difference between healthy friction and rot in the foundations of your relationship. They’re unlikely to waste your and their time with a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
What the stats have to say about mature women dating
Here are some facts and statistics about female singles and dating:
- 31% of mature women dating prefer a man who is 1-4 years younger than them
- 20% of older single women have dated a man their junior in the recent past
- 51% of older women say companionship and having someone to experience things with is their biggest reason for dating
Why so many younger men prefer mature women dating opportunities
Women are more comfortable being assertive and expressing sexuality and many younger men have grown equally comfortable with expressing vulnerability. This has affected many outdated views on relationship age-gaps.
An older woman, to a younger man, is more confident, commanding and self-assured. In a world that increasingly prizes strength and competence in both genders, many older women have come to naturally embody these concepts. Men, just like women, are drawn to people they feel can enrich and stabilise their own lives.
Older women represent not just a type of reassuring stability in an increasingly complex world but also a wealth of wisdom and experience that can help support them through their own trials. That this emotional and physical nurturing element of human relationships can travel freely in both directions. In essence, our desire for safety and intimacy has finally been allowed to overshadow our more shallow perspectives.
What to know about dating older women
While relationships between younger men and older women are known to be just as enriching as any other kind, there are few factors you’ll want to consider when dating a mature woman. The most obvious is whether you’re looking for the same thing. Older women often aren’t looking for anything serious or time-consuming due to work and commitments. You may also want children, which they may be unwilling or unable to provide you with at that stage in their life.
If your intentions are compatible, you will still be in different stages of your life. Your lifestyle, career level and relationship goals can differ vastly. Small issues like their willingness to travel or subtle power imbalances can build up to bigger clashes down the road. This is particularly true if they have children. You two will naturally have vastly different priorities. Similarly, the effect of your generational gap will ebb and flow. From your point of reference to your cultural interests, there will be times you feel you’re from different worlds. It’s important to be open with each other and discuss these issues when they come up, even if they’re seemingly minor, rather than putting them off.
You’ll hardly be star-crossed lovers, though. A handy perk is that men sexually mature in their 20s while women do so in their 30s and 40s. So in that regard, older woman and younger man couldn’t be a better match. You’ll also be able to draw on the strength and wisdom of their years. However, it’s also important to always see them as a woman first, not a caregiver.
Dating a mature woman – true love never ages
From their measured, thoughtful approach to relationships to their confidence and independence in pursuing what makes them happy, older women are showing us they truly are in their prime. So if you’re looking for mature women to connect with, it’s time to put yourself out there. Whether it’s through a mature women dating site and other online dating services or out there in the world, meeting an older woman can open new romantic avenues you may never have considered before now.
At eharmony, we specialise in connecting people who are looking for meaningful, happy relationships based on the science of compatibility. We help you not just meet older single women but guide and empower you to forge meaningful connections with them that actually go somewhere. So why not start your new relationship journey with eharmony?
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