Man on the phone considers whether he should call her
start free today
I am I am looking for

You can add more detail about your gender in your profile

For your security, use the following password format:

  • At least 8 characters
  • Letters AND numbers/special characters
  • Must not be the same as your email address

Should I Call Her? The Ultimate Question Answered with Clarity and Confidence

by eharmony Editorial Team - July 3, 2024

You’ve met someone special, and the dates have gone well. Now you’re wondering, should I call her? While dating dynamics have become more equal, men are often still expected to take the lead in relationships. The pressure can feel intense.

This leads to questions like, “Should I call her if she doesn’t call me?”, “Should I call her or text her?” or “Should I call her if she doesn’t text me back?”. Let’s explore how to figure out if she wants you to call, the benefits of phone calls for strengthening your bond, and the role of phone etiquette. Plus, we’ll address the importance of timing and whether calling or texting is the better choice.

Building a connection beyond texting

While attention spans are getting shorter every day, there’s something romantic about carving out the time and space for a phone date. Even if it’s not face-to-face, talking to each other helps you get to know your partner and deepen the connection between you. Of the three Cs of a healthy relationship – communication, compromise, and commitment – communication comes first for a reason. For your relationship to not just survive but thrive, you need to be on the same page. Setting aside time to really talk can help strengthen your relationship.

Should I call her, yes, or no?

Sometimes the answer is no. She might be preoccupied with work, family responsibilities, or could even face challenges such as a disability that can make phone conversations difficult. Mismatched schedules might also limit the time available for phone calls. Location could pose challenges, with poor reception or different time zones. She might just prefer texting or face-to-face interactions over phone calls. Understanding these dynamics is essential to figuring out communication preferences and respecting her comfort zone.

That said, the answer to, “Should I call her?” might also be no because she’s not interested. We’ll talk more about what signs to look for in the next section, but it’s important to respect boundaries.

Man and woman sitting on the sofa as an example of questions to ask

140 Questions To Ask Someone

It can be very hard to know what kind of questions to ask. In this article, we’ve covered a range of topics, each with plenty of example questions to ask to get to know someone. 

Decoding signals: When to call her and when to move on

If you’re wondering, “should I call her?” think back to how she acted when you were on a date. Body language can tell us more than words about whether a person is interested. If she leaned towards you when she talked, made plenty of eye contact, touched you casually, or made excuses to prolong the date, then the odds are good that the response to, “Should I call her?” is yes. If, on the other hand, she was leaning away, didn’t make much eye contact and was often distracted by her phone, then the relationship might not have much of a future.

Other signs she’s interested? She reaches out via text or call after the date, or she’s happy to keep the conversation going when you initiate one. On the other hand, if she never responds or is abrupt when she does, it’s time to move on. If she’s encouraging, great! If she’s not, you shouldn’t try and turn no into a yes, regardless of your own feelings. The answer to “Should I call her back after no contact?” is often no.  

Mastering the art of timing: When to reach out after a date

Timing is crucial. Aim for a time when you know she’ll be available and free from important tasks. After a date, it’s wise to wait a bit before calling; an immediate call might seem too eager, while delaying too long might convey disinterest. Typically, a day or two after a date is a good time to reconnect. If calling isn’t feasible, sending a text is a thoughtful alternative to avoid giving the impression of neglect or worse, ghosting.

If she doesn’t respond, don’t call again right. Similarly, if you’re asking yourself, “Should I call her if she doesn’t text back?”, the answer is probably no. It’s important to mirror the level of interest your partner is showing in you, or else you risk coming across as creepy.

Call or text? Navigating the communication conundrum

If you think of “Should I call her?” you might also be wondering, “Should I call her or text her?” Well, it depends. Both calling and texting have advantages and disadvantages.

Texting is more private – nobody can overhear. On the other hand, texts are also permanent, which can be a double-edged sword if your relationship goes south. Texting is also easier if your schedules don’t match – she can respond when she’s free, and vice-versa. Plus, when you’re texting each other, you’re not limited to just what you can say – you can send links or videos. The flipside is, of course, that tone is much harder to read over text –emojis can only do so much.

Phone calls might be a dying art, but a tradition that’s worth hanging onto. Carving out the time to just talk can help you get to know your partner better and strengthen your relationship. On the other hand, some people find phone calls hard for various reasons.

Whether you should call or text depends on the person you’re with – make sure whatever method of communication works for both of you.

Consider her perspective

No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, consent is key. When you’re wondering, “Should I call her?” the question is also: “Does she want me to?”

Maintaining clear communication about when to call, how long to chat, and the topics to discuss is vital, even if she’s eager for your calls. Respect her boundaries and if a topic makes her uncomfortable, gracefully transition to another subject. Boundaries are the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Work together to reach a compromise and respect your own boundaries, as a strong relationship thrives on mutual understanding.

Modern dating etiquette

In a world where most dating happens online, phone calls can feel like a relic. However, there’s something to be said for taking the time to focus on your partner and connect in a deeper way than is possible through text. Taking the time for a call is a great way to show your partner that you’re interested in carving out time for her.

That said, there can be too much of a good thing. You might be asking yourself, “Should I call her every day?” and the answer is, not unless she’s calling you just as much. It’s important to mix up your communication styles so you don’t get stuck in a rut or miss things that are better communicated face-to-face or via text. The best relationships are those where the people involved figure out what works for them.

Should I call her? navigating preferences

“Should I call her?” may seem straightforward, but it hinges on various factors – her preferences, how long since your last contact and the nature of your relationship. Effective communication is key. If it’s not clicking, accept that the answer to “Should I call her back?” may be no, and move on.

This is where eharmony can help. For over two decades, we’ve brought countless couples together worldwide, finding singles compatible partners who share their values and relationship goals. Our compatibility-based matching system helps create meaningful conversations from the get-go. Join eharmony today and embark on your journey to genuine love.

How it works

Your search for a great relationship has never been easier with groundbreaking overhaul of the eharmony you know and trust.